


A Cute Pig, A Not So Cute Fall Down The Stairs

by StarReads



Series: Flushed Universe [3]
Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: "Oh heck it is", "Oh wait is this a date", (He lowkey does tho), A wittle white pig, Alcohol, Drinking, Gen, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I love platonic Iruma and Ouma, I spent actual energy on this, Iruma Miu Being Iruma Miu, It's Ouma not Oma heathens, Miu is a disaster, Ouma crossdresses, Ouma doesn't deserve this slander, Ouma looks good in everything, Parties, Party, Pigs, Profanity, So does Miu, Teen for light violence, Wow, Yao can't handle rejection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-24 03:38:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18563149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarReads/pseuds/StarReads
Summary: "Why don't we do something fun for once?"He sighed, feeling slighted that she wanted to abandon his fun party game for something else. Still, she was one of his best friends."What did you have in mind?"In which Ouma and Miu got out for a night and end up with a very interesting story to tell later.





	A Cute Pig, A Not So Cute Fall Down The Stairs

**Author's Note:**

> Yet another addition to the Flushed universe, and probably the last!

 It was just supposed to be a normal, quiet day. Really! He only wanted to chill with his best friend, eat some food, and play Wii Party U! Yes, it was an old game, and yes it could be a little slow at times, but it was a dozen times better than Mario Party. There, he said it. No taking it back now.  
  
 He waited, crosslegged on his faded couch, snacks ready and house semi-clean. He didn’t want Miu to think he wasn’t taking care of himself. She’d tell the others and Kirumi would probably skin him alive. He’d be just as naked as that Furby Shinguji stole from him.  
  
 His roomba, decorated to look like Kiibo, because he was an eternal tormenter to the poor robotics major, hit the wall several times. Kokichi sighed and stood up to go grab the poor thing and put it to rest. It had done its job for once.   
  
 As he was laying the roomba in its mini bed, which was definitely not a weird thing to do because his roomba was a hardworking citizen of Oumaville, population of two, there was a knock on his door.   
  
 It was opened without a second thought because Miu had no boundaries and had no issues with just showing up randomly. She closed it behind her. Over her shoulder, she had a suspiciously large duffel bag.  
  
 “So, is this the day? Planning to kill me?” Kokichi shouted from his position in the living room, literally five feet away. Miu winced, then stuck out her tongue. “You wish! It’d be an honor to die by my hands. Nah man, you ready for tonight?” she said, dropping the bag by his feet.  
  
 Kokichi grinned. “Well, first of all, you’re cocky. And secondly, yeah I’m all the way ready! I got snacks and we’re gonna play Wii Party U,” he said, clearly excited. He was so not prepared for Miu to groan.  
  
 "Why don't we do something fun for once?"  
  
 He sighed, feeling slighted that she wanted to abandon his fun party game for something else. Still, she was one of his best friends.  
  
 “What did you have in mind?” he asked, pouting. She patted his head. “Not to be rude though man. I like party games, but I have the best idea! There’s a party on 82nd and we are getting in tonight!” she said.  
  
 Kokichi glared up at her. “What’s the actual point of this? We’ve been to tons of parties,” he said, rolling his eyes. She beamed. “It’s that rich girl from Physics class who’s throwing it. It’s going to be epic!” Miu said, puffing out her chest with pride.  
  
 Admittedly, Kokichi’s eyes shined. Her parties were always legendary! Or well, they were supposed to be. He never got invited, mainly because he was a recluse and had never spoken to her.   
  
 “One little problem though. It’s a girls only bash. So from this moment forward, you are Kameko Oumako and you’re my friend from junior high,” Miu proclaimed, pulling open the duffel bag. In it were fancy clothing and two purses. Kokichi sighed.   
  
 “Let me go get my hair and makeup bag,” he murmured, leaving the room. As excited as he was for a fancy party, this was going to be a lot of work. He’d definitely need to shave.  
  
  
 Roughly two hours later, he and Miu stood outside the house where the party was being held. Ouma, now Oumako, was definitely feeling feminine. He had to admit, Miu knew his colors well. The gorgeous white and purple dress was also very, very soft. It was definitely not what he would’ve selected, but it was still amazing. Miu had selected some extremely risque dress with a neckline that made the top almost non-existent. He almost wanted to give her a jacket. It was still cold outside after all!   
  
 Though, everyone knows sacrifices have to be made if one wants to look good. And Miu looked good. Even his gay ass could appreciate the view. Platonically, of course. She had been blessed with genes that made her look absolutely stunning in everything.  
  
They were completely opposite in body types really. Which was to be expected, seeing as she was very much female and he was much male. Yet he couldn't help but envy her. She looked so mature and he hadn't aged a day since high school. He still looked like the shaky, twink of a freshman he'd been when they'd met.   
  
Not that he didn't have his strengths. He looked adorable in everything. And he could definitely pull off a lot of styles Miu couldn't. Mainly masculine ones.  
  
The two of them walked up the lawn, posh and well maintained, a sign of the wealth hidden behind the door. Miu knocked gently, turning and whispering, "Let me do the talking." Ouma nodded, stepping to hide behind Miu just a little. It was time to get in character.   
  
A gorgeous looking girl, long black hair and beautiful eyes opened the door. She was in this beautiful flowing white dress. "Miu! Thanks for coming, I"m so glad you could make it!"   
  
Miu smiled, putting on a face that Ouma immediately recognized as her "ass-kissing" face. "Oh, it's nothing Yao-chan! Meet my childhood friend, Oumako Kameko. Sorry, she's kinda shy," she said in a very sugary sweet voice. Yao-chan looked at him for a few seconds, smiling. "Well, come on in," she said, stepping aside.  
  
The house was amazing. Lights and decorations in blues and whites and purples were everywhere. It seemed every surface was covered in flowers. Ouma thought it was absolutely amazing.   
  
Miu turned to continue speaking with Yao-chan. "So, where's everybody else?" Miu asked. Yao-chan looked a little nervous. "Oh, they'll be here soon. Let's get a drink while we wait," she said. Miu seemed pleased with her answer, and grabbing Ouma by his arm, they followed her into a dining hall that was a totally different world. Dim lights, elegant china, and suspiciously only two chairs. Two. For a party. Two chairs.  
  
Ouma immediately knew something was up. Who only has two chairs in a dining hall this big? He scanned the room, employing all his knowledge of detective work from his time with Saihara and all the movies and plays he'd watched/been in. He noticed that Yao-chan seemed extremely nervous, never seemed to let Miu out of her sight. Dim lighting, two places to sit, the flowers in the corner that were definitely roses.  
  
"Oh my god. This is a date. Either Miu is the densest person to ever live, or this girl is a very, very good liar. Great, not only is my very much taken friend going to have to destroy this girl's hopes and dreams, I'm officially third-wheeling," Ouma thought. He sighed. "Ummm, Yao-chan?" he said, morphing his voice into a frail, delicate whisper. Yao snapped to life, turning to him.   
  
"Yes, Oumako? What's the matter?" she asked. Fidgeting a little, Ouma turned his face away. "Where's your bathroom?" he asked, focusing on making himself look shy and embarrassed.   
  
She told him where to go very quickly, and ushered him out so she could be alone with Miu. As soon as Ouma turned the corner, he sighed. Hopping up the grand stairs, he amused himself by wandering the floors above. It really was a large, beautiful house. `  
  
He wandered the house for about thirty minutes before he heard an oinking sound. Peering into the room it came from, he saw a beautiful white pig sitting contentedly on a beautiful bed. The room smelled strange, probably from the pig. A little hint of copper was in the air as well.  
  
Still, the pig sitting in the middle of the bed was adorable. He wandered over to it, waving as he approached. It gave a cute little oink, sitting up.  
  
He lost track of time playing with it. The two of them wandered the halls. Somehow, he ended up telling it his whole life story and snuggling it to his chest. Once he checked his phone, he realized it had been nearly three hours.   
  
He was heading back downstairs when he heard a commotion from down the hall. He placed the pig gently down by the stairs, and it snorted at him before running away. Ouma approached the source of the noise quietly.   
  
Miu and Yao were shouting. Every few moments, Yao would drink litte more wine and get a little more neurotic. Miu was trying to calm her down, but she wasn't cooperating. Sensing that things were about to go south, he speed-walked up to Miu and grabbed her arm. "Sorry, we have to go, we have things to do. Bye!" he said quickly, pulling her along.   
  
He checked for Miu's bag. Seeing that her bag was draped over her shoulder, he sighed with relief. They just had to get out the door. From behind him, he could hear the flurry of the other girl's rapid descent into whatever crazy mindset she had. The empty wine bottle flew past them, hitting a vase and shattering. Glass and flowers spilled over the hallway, and he and Miu slowed trying to avoid getting cut.   
  
The two of them made it to the stairs and quickly started going down them. Then Yao attempted to tackle Miu. Luckily, she failed, simply flying past the two of them and down the stairs. She laid down at the bottom, groaning. Miu stopped when they got to her. "Do we call the hospital?" she asked. Ouma would have said yes if Yao hadn't attempted to swipe at Miu's legs with the glass in her fist.  
  
The two of them shared an awkward look, quickly shuffling out of the building. As soon as they got to the car, Miu stopped. "Ouma, that was absolutely insane. I'm sorry about her, she seemed so sweet," she said. Ouma just leaned an arm on her. "If only you had listened to my brilliant plan," he sighed. She made vague grunting cursed and balled her hand into a fist. Laughing, he scurried off to the other side of the car.  
  
That was absolutely insane.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
